anyssia: (nano-wc shmurd count)
This year, I'm writing a Teen Wolf fanfiction for Nanowrimo (2015) and determined to see it to the end. Because, so far in over a decade of writing numerous bits here and there, and then publishing a few of them while keeping most of it lost in various folders, I haven't managed to finish a single long story.

I have a long Final Fantasy VII story started back in 2006 (in French even, and then translated in English, and then written straight in English because there so few French readers). Many people asked for it to be continued, but I'd need to start over because -2006!- and I need to rewrite the outline.

That's my main problem, you know: if I don't outline, I get lost, I wander, I go nowhere. If I write one, I lose interest, once the story is fleshed out on paper. So I've been trying another way: I write a part and outline in a sentence the next part. I write that part and outline the next and etc... We'll see how it goes.

As I said, a Teen Wolf fic, because I have an unhealthy obsession with Stiles Stilinski and Peter Hale. I love stories of revenge and those two have a damn lot of potential with revenge. So far, it's been going as usual: meaning, I've already restarted the story twice. And this morning, I've been thinking of starting it over again.

My usual problem is that I explain too much. I spend too much time on thoughts and not nearly enough on actions. I'm 10k in and so far Stiles has gone shopping then somehow visited Deucalion's lair and eat cookies. Or muffins, I don't even remember. Exciting, isn't it? I mean, he basically took 3'000 words to get out of the kitchen.

I feel kinda pathetic. I've recently moved near Lille, France, and thought, since it's such a big city/conurbation, there's bound to be many people participating to Nanowrimo. And yes, many of them introduced themselves. And then one of the 'ancient' explained that they met for write in every Saturday and I was like... 'whut??? Once a week?? That's it? But, why???' The forum itself is mainly unused and I don't like forums anyway, soooo. I met two people via the facebook page for the Nanowrimo-ers living in the North of France and we met three or four times a week so far, so it's been good anyway, even if the forum and facebook are relatively dead, I mostly communicate via twitter as a result. We do write-in of three, or two. Which is nice enough. Less difficult to find free space anyway. But I didn't make friends like I'd hope I'd do. I see Nanowrimo as a time to meet people with like minded interests and this time it has been quite a let down. If it stays this way, I might move to Lyon in a few years. At least, there I know that there are many people participating and animating this month. I had hope to find people that I could continue to meet up during the rest of the year, but...

What's not helping is that while I laboriously manage 2'000 words a day, the two I've met manage to produce 6'000 words easily. I'm barely staying on top of the minimum word requirement per day, which means about 17k by today, and one has reached 45k, meaning to do 50k today, while the other is at 39k. And I don't know if it's the depression that's been plaguing me for weeks talking, but I feel like I annoy them and am a burden. I haven't seen them in two days and I don't want to ask to meet again, because I don't know if it's really always me who only ask to meet, or if they were really busy. One has not been to a write in since last Friday or Saturday and it makes me wonder if I don't bother them. I know I talk too much, but I don't seem to be able to stop, even though I hate myself a little afterward.

Meanwhile, I want to start over for the third time. So, I have the words, but as usual, I probably won't have a finished story but will rather end up with bits and pieces that will be stored in Google Docs and never used again.

Well, I started this entry, thinking I'd talk about my numerous plot change, and here I'm complaining. Well, let's say it helped me write half my required word count already.

So, regarding the plot! I wanted to make a steter fic, but with the ship being merely background. What I really want is to write about Stiles being a magical geek and reading everything he can get his hands on. And since Derek is a jerk jock in this world (set between season 2 and 3) and won't let in the human, Stiles finds himself set aside. Which is how he meets Deucalion, who takes a shine to the lonely little spark and gleefully set to make Stiles badass to rub it into Derek's face what a moron he is.

The first draft was Stiles going to Peter for information and eventually Peter dragging in Deucalion for more stuff and learning some interesting truth about how the Alpha power is passed down. The second was Stiles unexpectedly meeting Deucalion and getting dragged to his loft when Duke realized that there was an untrained spark available to fuck with Derek's lack of common sense, and Stiles learning the truth about how Laura took the Alpha power from Peter (you see a pattern, no?).

The one I thought of this morning was because of a book I bought yesterday and started today in a fit of total procrastination: Crocodile on the Sandbank. I'm not so sure about the plot itself yet, but I'm only at 26 % and it's a 19 books long series, so I have time, but the main character and her friend is a delightfully feminist female, who isn't afraid to tell men to mind their own business and let her do her thing as she wishes.

It made me want this too. I want to read a girl!Stiles story in which she's badass and strong and nerdy and Peter can't help but fall in love with her because competency is a wonderful kink. So, obviously, yet another re-write. With hopefully more action and less describing of the muffins...
anyssia: (Default)
Posted in full at: at October 29, 2015 at 10:05PM
Ways and means to keep the critter from eating your computer cables. I feel like I’m creating a labyrinth, by blocking parts of the room off xD

Also, that moment when you have to put a cable/strap to link the… gates? park sides? to your bed frame, because the critter has discovered that freedom is nice and he wants out all the time and since the park is so lightweight, he moves the pieces when he tugs on it.

So far, he doesn’t eat/nibble on stuff, even the pillow used as trampoline inside his cage, so I’m hoping that he’ll leave alone the cardboard protecting the cables.

Tags:critters, guinea pigs, having fun, my dear diary
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Posted in full at: at October 29, 2015 at 09:31PM

So, this happened and I’m still laughing. It was the first time he got to leave the park, I’m pretty sure it won’t be the last, if he has a say

wow, the precious doesn’t appreciate being sent back to his cage! he’s started attacking the bars now that he knows that freedom is near.

EDIT: the little shit just managed to get out, I’m so dead.

Tags:critters, guinea pigs, I'm laughing so hard, still, my dear diary
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Posted in full at: at October 29, 2015 at 09:19PM
So, this happened and I’m still laughing. It was the first time he got to leave the park, I’m pretty sure it won’t be the last, if he has a say

Tags:critters, guinea pigs, I'm laughing so hard, still, my dear diary
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Posted in full at: at October 23, 2015 at 05:50PM


I was hoping that the computer had gone slow because of this. Turns out that it totally was it! So now I’m good \o/ No need to worry anymore because I have 50+ tabs opened in Chrome, another 10+ in Firefox, + spotify and and and.

I may open way too many windows.

Tags:my dear diary, memory modules, kingston my king
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Posted in full at: at October 19, 2015 at 11:36PM
Also @ AO3

I didn’t intend to write a fic, when I started this. I was just writing down a random thought about Stiles and loyalty, because I got fucked over by one who called themselves a very good friend and I don’t forgive stuff like that and I wanted a Stiles who didn’t forgive Scott for abandoning him. So there’s this.

In the blurry category of ‘best friend’ versus 'crazed stalker like maniac’, Stiles’ place is kinda unsure. I mean, I want a crazy-for-his-friend Stiles, I’ll-do-anything-for-you Stiles, the one who’d kill for Scott and would have his fucking back all the way.

And then, I want Scott, with all his pretty words and hugs and laughter at Stiles’ jokes.

And then, I want season one and two to happen. And suddenly, despite all his crybabying, Scott’s become hot shit and GOT THE GIRL and her popular friends and the sport and everything. Doesn’t stop him from moaning about the wolf stuff, but, meh, you can’t get everything. Equivalent exchange, Stiles thinks. And then I want Scott not calling Stiles because it’s dangerous for a human, and making friends with Isaac because the poor guy needs help, and stalking Allison because she definitively still loves him.

And you have Stiles, who gets beaten up by Gérard and pushed around by Derek and ignored or laughed at by the wolves.

And… Scott doesn’t act. Doesn’t take Stiles’ defense. Doesn’t have Stiles’ back. Years and years of being BFF and as soon as Scott has other prospects, he ends up leaving Stiles in the dust without even a backward glance.

I want enraged Stiles, who won’t act against Scott, but who certainly won’t help him, because fuck this shit, if he doesn’t need Stiles, then, HE DOESN’T NEED STILES, fuck you up to the moon. Stiles’ a little shit with a loyalty streak longer that the Great Wall of China but if you spurn him, if you break his faith once, then fuck you too. Because Stiles doesn’t forget and he doesn’t forgive.

So there’s Gérard and there’s Scott turning around without even checking on Stiles. And there’s Stiles keeping Derek alive for hours, several times, and there’s Derek pushing him so hard he’s covered in bruises, or slamming him against walls. And every single wolf acts the same. And Lydia. And the hunters.

Every time he gives his loyalty, they fuck him in the face and laugh at him and ignore him and he’s done with them all. The only one who didn’t fuck with him is actually creeper Peter and how wrong is this, that the worst Peter’s done to him is to slam his face against a car. And even then, Stiles can’t actually get around the idea, because he was barely bruised after that, like, Peter’s got the best control of his strength of all the wolves.

The thing with Stiles is that when he’s your friend, he’s your friend until the end of the world, if you’ll have him.

Apparently, Scott won’t have him anymore. And the less said about the others -let’s not even mention Lydia-, the better.

So Stiles’ done with this shit.

Season two ends and Stiles says fuck you all. He’s got to study for the last stretch of school, high school grades are important. And the Stilinskis aren’t exactly swimming in money so Stiles needs to study and get a scholarship, or else he’s fucked.

Summer passes and Stiles studies all the stuff he barely passed/didn’t have time to look up/studied in passing and doesn’t actually remember from the last two years. Time’s been crazy lately, he needs to study if he wants to keep his grades up. And all the fucking stress and life endangering stunts didn’t do any favors to his ADHD. Scott texts a few times; Scott’s too busy to meet up.

Season three starts and Stiles’ been studying and trying to apply himself in school. Scott smiles at him in the hallway, before he joins Isaac and Allison.

Then Things Happened and Stiles hears about it, of course, because fuck, but those wolves don’t know the meaning of subtlety. He teaches himself to cook some more, because as much as he loves curly fries, his father needs muscles and stamina with all the shit that’s happening. Scott avoids him. Probably To Protect The Human. It doesn’t change much to this year’s routine.

One day, Stiles’ phone blows up with texts from Scott. And Derek. There’s A Thing and Research Has To Be Done and Stiles Could Be Useful For Once. Stiles answers that he’s busy, it’s almost time for his weekly meet up with the beginner cooking group.

When he comes home, there are angry wolves in his room. He looks at the busted window and ignores Derek’s interrogation. He shucks his bag on the chair, grabs his laptop and open a new tab. Derek’s graduated to full on growling. Stiles prints a page and gives it to Derek. It’s the most likely price he found, to repair the window.

Derek slams him into the wall. The paper flutters to the floor. Stiles hurts and Scott’s face says that He’s Disappointed With Stiles’ Actions. Stiles ignores Scott and tries to get free. Derek won’t let him go. Stiles realize that he can’t get any more free from a wolf than he could from a geriatric old man.

He knows his scent as soured with fear from Derek’s disgusted expression. He’s this close from calling the police. Derek doesn’t need the attention. Scott’s soliloquizing about how Stiles has to help them and It’s The Right Thing To Do. For puppies and unicorns.

Peter’s there suddenly. Stiles doesn’t know where he came from or why, but suddenly the man’s got his claws sunk into Derek’s fist and Derek’s releasing Stiles and they’re all this close from fighting it out in Stiles’ small room. Scott frowns righteously as Peter, then looks disappointed at Stiles. Derek’s control over his wolf aspects is a non-existing thing, as usual. Peter is standing firmly between the wolves and it feels like it’ll take a bulldozer to go through him, to get at Stiles. It’s the safest Stiles’ felt in months.

Stiles steps forward once. He brushes his fingers on Peter’s back, fleeting touch that the man doesn’t react to. Except for stepping back once. Peter’s not much taller that Stiles, but he’s broader. Stiles disappears behind Peter’s bulk when the man’s this close. He doesn’t see the others anymore. And they don’t see him either. It’s freeing.

He likes having Peter’s back.

The others eventually leave and Peter helps Stiles set things back to right and rigs the window so it’ll close again, at least until Stiles can buy a replacement, but Peter says that he’ll take care of it, because Derek’s family, for better and for worse.

Stiles doesn’t protest much, because Roscoe’s repairs rather killed dead his already low funds and he’ll need the money for the years to come. And there are medical bills left to pay for.

Peter nods and stays for the evening and explains what’s really going on. They talk and talk and talk it out. That evening and the next and the next and that week-end, and then again. Stiles’ not sure why Peter keeps coming back. But the man’s looking after him and Stiles’ caught him stalking him a few times. Except that it’s weird stalking, because Peter isn’t scrutinizing his movements. He’s checking his surroundings and looking around Stiles and once Stiles caught him making bright blue eyes/fangs out face at something in the trees. He’s not peeping into Stiles’ room, he’s staring at the night around Stiles’ home.

One day Stiles asks where he’s been living. Peter says Derek’s. His face twists like he been sucking on a lemon.

Stiles nods, then that evening, he speaks with his dad. Explains that he met a man who looked like the missing posters at the station. Turns out that the man was the former coma patient that had woken up and wandered out that time when there had been an attack of some sort on the hospital. The man had been lost at first, not understanding what was going on. By the time the man had realized what was happening, he’d been on the other side of the town, standing before his burned out home. Stiles explains to his dad how the man had sort of broken down, explaining how he’d been hurt and lost and ashamed and hadn’t wanted to face the reality for a while. He’d wandered and found old funds the Hales had had hidden 'in case of’ and gotten underground surgery because he couldn’t bear to look at the scars. Except now he’s better but he’s an escaped man from an hospital, without scars anymore and who’s been living under a fake name and/or squatting places and with his health, his pride has come back and Stiles knows the man won’t ask for help, even though he looked as Stiles like he was begging for it. So Stiles asks his dad to help.

It’s not that much of a stretch, because Peter’s arrogant and annoying, but he lost so much too and he has so many demons. Stiles knows that the man wants his life back, and not to rely on Derek for home and money and stuff. Peter wants his name back and his money and his history. But he fucked up when he woke up, and now he can’t really think of a way to become himself again.

Stiles can help with that. And he wants to be able to sit in a coffee house in the middle of town, arguing over old books and supernatural stuff with Peter, instead of always holing up in Stiles’ room because Peter can’t afford to be noticed, especially not with the Sheriff’s son, which would raise questions about Peter’s identity.

Obviously, Stiles’ dad knows that Stiles’ not saying everything. And that Stiles knows a lot more. And that there’s a lot more about Peter. But Stiles’ been doing so much better lately and been hiding a lot less stuff and the Sheriff’s aware that his son’s been spending time with Peter, he’s not stupid. But the deputies who saw them also said that they didn’t get 'funny’ vibes from the two, weirdly enough. Because, what else would a 30+ man want from a teenager. But said 30+ man didn’t ping their pedo radar, strangely. And Stiles’ not an idiot, he knows better than most the dangers. But he’s still been spending time with that man, and now he’s trying to help him out. So the Sheriff’s curious. He goes with it, meets with Peter, gets his life straightened out, all while doing a discreet investigation. He finds stuff, but nothing conclusive, no proof. He’s pretty sure that Peter helped Kate Argent get dead, somehow, but seeing the monster that that woman was -and the lack of proof-, the Sheriff doesn’t starts shit.

One day, Peter’s 'Peter Hale’ officially again, with his life and his papers and his money again. Derek gave in quickly enough, when the Sheriff frowned at him, about the matter of splitting the Hale money in two. Peter’s been living in the Stilinskis’ guest room, because the Sheriff is of the opinion that he’d prefer to know where that man is, rather than having Stiles sneak out.

There are a few attacks. Not many. Stiles hasn’t been seen with the pack in so long, the Alpha pack mostly don’t bother with him.

Then Peter gets involved because Cora, and Stiles has his back. Because they’re friends and so far, Peter hasn’t ignored/abandoned/failed him ever. Not like some. And Stiles’ not about to let a bunch of power hungry morons destroy his life again.

Tags:teen wolf, steter, gen, 750words, fic, not beta'd, my fics, my dear diary
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Posted in full at: at October 16, 2015 at 12:54AM
Breaking news: guinea pig is really a bunny xD

Tags:my dear diary, critters, guinea pig
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Posted in full at: at October 15, 2015 at 11:07AM
Wow, it’s been literally years since I spent Christmas with my family. 6 years I think? It was too expensive from where I lived before, to cross France, especially at this time of the year.

But, now I’m much closer and I managed to take my train ticket just the day of the sale opening, so I managed to get a good one at a relatively low rate \o/

I’m spending this Christmas with my family for once, weeeeee

Tags:my dear diary, christmas, so early
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Posted in full at: at October 14, 2015 at 11:02AM
Bought some stuff for the critter, since he seems to be a lot more excitable / energetic than my precious one and I felt that his (for rabbit xD ) cage wasn’t large enough. Now he runs circles in his cage AND from the cage to around the park xDDD It’s extra funny to watch him jump over the cage’s wall, run his circle around the park, jump from the cushion back into the cage, circle the cage and jump back into the park. I can assure you that he usually sleeps well :D (Between the (1.6m large) desk, my bed (a double) and the Alexei’s park, I have barely enough room to reach any place now. A 4 m by 5 and the critter takes almost more space than me. I may spend a bit too much on my animal)

Tags:critters, guinea pig, my dear diary
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Posted in full at: at October 14, 2015 at 11:04AM
Took a video the other day, during my critter’s twice daily gym xD

Tags:critters, guinea pig, my dear diary
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